Kitchen Nightmares: November 2007 Archives

I really enjoyed this week's Kitchen Nightmares. The owner and head chef, Joe, wasn't portrayed as a complete jerk. The other chef, Gene, actually seemed like a nice guy. The main waitresses, Josett and Jessica, seemed like nice women even if they were a little wild. Joe's family seemed normal. What is this universe I stepped into and how can I keep going back?

Campania is a little Italian restaurant in Fair Lawn, NJ, with a fairly new owner named Joe. Joe bought the place 18 months ago but ever since he took over, business has gone down the drain. Of course, Gordon will be coming to save him. When Gordon arrived, he made a couple of remarks to Joe about his finger-pointing (he must have been cranky that day) before the waitress arrived to take his order. He ordered tortellini soup that turned out to be bland, sausage ravioli that had too much garlic, and a crusted chicken that he deemed too sweet and dry. He also had to wait more than 20 minutes for his food to be brought to him and was forced to endure the laughing and other goings on back in the kitchen. Who would want that? Later, he told Joe about how the customers could hear everything and how he found his food boring which led Joe to quip that perhaps it was a mistake to invite Gordon.

The second at Campania, Gordon decided to check out the restaurant's supply of food on hand. He found way too much food going bad just waiting to be served. Before that night's dinner service, Gordon told Joe that he had too many staff members for the place bringing Joe to get rid of a couple of workers named Chris and Katie. Katie was understandably upset in the parking lot but hey, that's the breaks. Girl, if you'd been good enough he wouldn't have let ya go.

At dinner service that evening, customers were left waiting hours for their food. One guy even ordered a pizza (no doubt just because the cameras were there) but we never saw the pizza being delivered. When the food did arrive, many of the customers said it was just average. Average must have been good enough for them though because most of them took home doggy bags. That was another problem Gordon had with Campania -- their portion sizes were too big. When Gordon tried to explain that to Joe later, Joe says that that's what the customers like. He got upset when Gordon kept after him trying to explain to him that it's a waste of money on his part though.

The next day, Gordon visited Joe's wife Melissa at their home. We heard the standard sob story that we hear every week. This is his dream; if we can't bring the restaurant back into the black we'll lose everything; and the bills aren't getting paid. Next, we saw Gordon return back to the restaurant and try to teach the staff more about presentation and then provided them with a special meatball recipe that he thought would be good for the restaurant to use as their signature dish. He even had their delivery van customized with "New Jersey's best meatballs" and gave them shirts and hats to wear with the slogan. Passing out meatballs on the sidewalk to passers-by seemed to make a good impression on those that ate them. That's a good way to drum up some business.

On day 4, the restaurant is re-launched and you know what that means. It's re-design time! The entire outside of the restaurant was painted and styled and they received new signage and lights. The inside was completely redone too and looked a hundred times better than it did before. Why, they even provided them with a new stove to replace an old broken one. I wonder if they fixed their walk-in freezer though. Anyway, everybody was thrilled and excited at the changes. They were even cool with the smaller plates that were provided.

Of course, Gordon had re-designed the menu as well. It was a trimmed down version of its old self except now it had a pasta section. You'd think that would be an obvious section to have on a menu in an Italian restaurant. One hour before opening, Gordon decided to try a little stunt he pulls on his staff to get them motivated for the night's service. The first person in the waitstaff to sell every dish on the menu that night would receive a $100 bill. It's time for the doors to open and Joe doesn't want to let Gordon down.

The reopening was completely booked and the service went very smoothly at first. One table though (an old hag in particular) said they didn't like any of their food. Gordon went out to talk to them to find out what they didn't like but wound up telling the older lady that she was talking out of her rear. When she told him to grow up, he called her an old bag to the rest of the table. I've always loved that about Gordon! Meanwhile, Joe was getting frustrated back in the kitchen and rather than just put his head down and do the work he decided to go schmooze out in the dining area. That just made things worse because then service was really backing up.

A different lady began to complain in the restaurant about the meatballs tasting like Ragu. She really started quite a scene and when Joe's mother heard her complaining, she was upset just like any other mother. The best part was when that lady went out to the parking lot, another female customer (who seemed a tad bit tipsy) got into a yelling match with her on the way out. Why'd you keep eating the food if you weren't satisfied with it? You just wanted a free meal! Luckily, a cop car pulled up and broke it all up. I wonder if there was a breathalyzer involved.

As usual though, Joe got himself together though and the rest of the night finished smoothly. Josette even won the $100 server bingo! Joe really liked the changes that had been made and made it seem like the server bingo would stick around. I thought that was a cool thing myself.

We were told that in the days that followed, customers were still thrilled and profits were increasing. Joe began behaving more like a boss instead of a friend and that Campania was not know for quality more than quantity. Gordon even helped them break the big plates back in the kitchen to celebrate their new start.

Next week's episode is a repeat of Peter's in Babylon, NY. The season finale will be on December 12 and will cover Secret Garden in Moorpark, CA.

What did you think this episode? Does Campania seem like a place you would go and dine? Have you ever witnessed any fights in restaurants like this? Gimme some stories!

Ahhhh, Kitchen Nightmares was back in New York state this week. All is right in the world. Well, except for the Finn McCool's restaurant of course.

The restaurant is owned by a pushover named Buddy who has let his two sons help him run it into the ground. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, Buddy wants help from Gordon. The sad thing is that he needs Gordon to help him with his two sons -- Jason and Brian. Jason is the bar manager and while he's a nice guy he seems better suited working at a children's daycare than in a restaurant. Brian is the head chef and a complete ass. He's an awful cook, is cocky and disrespectful, and basically said he could care less if the restaurant goes down in flames because it's not his restaurant. Yeah, he's one of those guys.

After Gordon showed up to Finn McCool's and introduced himself, it was time for the test taste. Unfortunately for him, he ordered Irish spring rolls, roasted salmon with a balsamic reduction, and a shepherd's pie. He was able to keep a bite or two down of the nasty spring rolls and dry salmon but when it came to the shepherd's pie it was a no go. Not long after taking a bite of the greasy pie, poor Gordon had to go pray to the porcelain god. I don't know about you but that's not a very good start.

Later, Gordon (after hopefully brushing his teeth) talked to Brian about the quality of his food. Really he told him it sucked but guess what? Brian didn't care what Gordon had to say. The next day, Gordon left to invite the local firemen to come to dinner that night as his guest. He wanted to see what they had to say and how Buddy and his gang could handle the service. After a much needed kitchen detox, it was time for dinner service and there were no customers. Wait! Here come the firemen now to save the night.

Well, they could have saved the night except the service was awful and the food was horrible. It took them an hour to even get their food and when they did it was cold. The most disgusting part of this entire segment was how the sous chef, Frances, dropped a chicking wing on the floor and then picked it back up and put it in the pan with the other little wings. I loved the playback in slow motion spotlighting the wing's fall from glory. Good job Fox! Frances' explanation for putting it back in the pan? The fryer will sterilize it while cooking. Gordon was appalled (as was I) but head chef and head idiot Brian thought it was funny.

The next day, Gordon met with Buddy about the state of his restaurant and the state of his finances. My jaw almost hit the floor when he said he was losing $20,000 per month in keeping the place open. He was honest in saying that he'd fire Brian if he wasn't family though. Just wow.

Later, Gordon pared down the menu and "tweaked" the shepherd's pie. Actually, he replaced it with his own recipe because Brian's version sucked. That evening during dinner service, Brian bgean htitnig the bozoe if you know what I mean and got a little testy with Gordon. His father and owner of the restaurant tried to step in and calm him down but Brian wasn't having any of it. He quit and sped away in his high class white painter's van leaving Buddy to pick up the pieces in the kitchen. Of course, Buddy couldn't cook for nothing.

Gordon sat down to speak to Brian the next day about his behavior and wound up feeling sorry for him because his father had no clue about running a restaurant and all the pressure that was put on him. Boohoo. After sprucing up the place on somebody else's dime, it was time for Gordon to make the big reveal. They now have a sign out front and they're ready for the big grand opening.

The firemen were back for dinner as well as everybody else in town it seemed that night. The local food critic, Sabrina, was even there. As always, things were a complete and utter mess at the beginning of service. There were the usual long waits for food creating the slow turnover of tables causing the departure of the ones waiting to catch a glimpse of Gordon enjoy the Irish fare. Two-and-a-half hours into service, they finally began to get it together and managed to end on a somewhat positive note. The snobby food critic loved her food so much that she said it was worth the wait. Psst, Gordon probably made it himself.

That night, Gordon left behind a family that had finally come together to work for the good of their family and the good of their pocketbooks. Brian crying about Gordon helping him get his spark back was a tad too much to take for me though. The end of the show gave us an update on the family pub saying that two months after Gordon had left, the restaurant was doing much better and the shepherd's pie was the talk of the town. Buddy was even finally able to pay himself for the first time. Hmm, what happened to all that debt he had?

Next week, the show's in Pomona, CA. It seems they have a chef from "the hood" (they used the term not me) who can't take criticism, an owner that's run out of money, and a busboy with sticky fingers. Should be interesting!

What did you think of this week's Kitchen Nightmares? Would you have fired Brian if he was your son running your place into the ground?

There should be a law against crazy restaurateurs. I mean it. Sebastian, the owner/chef featured on this week's Kitchen Nightmares is one whacked out dude. He's also a liar, a fraud, and a drama queen. In other words, he's perfect for reality TV!

Sebastian's is a quasi-pizzeria nestled among the studio lots in Burbank, CA. Sebastian bought the restaurant two years ago and has big plans for franchising. His only problem is that the restaurant is losing money quickly and could be closing in six months (or less). And why would the restaurant be losing money? It's because of his overwhelming 20-something gourmet flavor combination of a menu composed of pre-prepared food. He's also not exactly "management material" if he's had to fire 49 people in the last year. Of course, the customers are confused by the menu when they look at it. I wouldn't be able to figure out a damned thing to eat there if I dined there myself.

Gordon shows up on his shining white steed to try and save the day but Sebastian is a bull about everything Gordon suggests. (He sure didn't mind the re-design of his restaurant later though.) Sebastian got his feelings hurt when Gordon requested a puke bag after eating his food. Sebastian got ticked that Gordon didn't think his menu was magnificently unique. Sebastian became furious when Gordon called him delusional. Sebastian thought Gordon was crazy for not thinking he could franchise the place.

When Gordon suggested they actually use the pizza ovens in the pizzeria (shocking isn't it?) Sebastian didn't like that either because he thought it was cheaper to use the frozen prepared food. Hello Sebastian. That's why your food is crappy and nobody is eating there. Put on your listening ears little big man. Gordon threw out the gourmet flavor combination menu and simplified it. The pizzas off of that new menu looked mighty tasty!

After the re-design and teaching the staff how to toss pizza dough, it was time to reopen. It was Oscar night so they rolled out the red carpet to welcome the customers to a fully booked house. Things were going great. The customers loved the food, the staff was working as a team and then Sebastian decided to throw a temper tantrum about his office not being vacuumed. Hey crazy man. There are hungry people in your restaurant wanting to eat your food. They could care less if your office is vacuumed.

That little tantrum led to an even bigger one later on after Gordon found Sebastian going back to his gourmet flavor combination ways. After Gordon told Sebastian that he'd never met someone he believed in as little as him and told him he knew he'd be going back to his sloppy, frozen, shortcut ways the fit really hit the shan.

Sebastian began yelling and screaming at Gordon like a little girlyman back in the kitchen. It was loud enough that the customers had to have heard him. When Gordon asked Sebastian to stop shouting and to calm down, Sebastian merely asked Gordon if he'd speak to him like a man. Wha? Sebastian, you're not the man in this little relationship right now. Even more hilarious was when Sebastian told Gordon that his act is a joke and that he's the phony chef. Oooh. Keep on telling yourself that Sebastian.

So while Sebastian went outside to cool down, Gordon took control of things in the kitchen and somehow managed to successfully get everybody back on track. Sure enough, Sebastian then came back in with his tail between his legs admitting to Gordon that everything Gordon said was true. I think somebody slipped Sebastian something because that sure was a quick turnaround (or as Amber from this season's Big Brother would say, a quick 360).

After the night's service was complete, Gordon told them all that it was a job well done. Later though, Gordon said he had mixed feelings about Sebastian's and knows that Sebastian has little interest in changing things up for good.

There were no updates on the restaurant so I wonder how it's doing. Is it even still open? If it is open, would anybody in that area be willing to go eat there and provide a review of how it is now? This is a restaurant I would really love a follow-up on. Seriously!

If you know of or run a restaurant that's down in the dumps, why don't you give FOX a call? They're casting right now for more featured restaurants. The number is: 866-226-2226. Please pass it on.

What did you think about this episode? What would you have ordered from that gourmet flavor combination of a menu? If you're in the Hollywood area, would you please go eat at Sebastian's for me and email me a review? Pretty please with sugar on top?