Kitchen Nightmares: October 2007 Archives

I must say that The Olde Stone Mill, featured on last night's Kitchen Nightmares, had more going for it than previous restaurants shown this season. The location didn't seem too bad and the outside of the building looked very nice (except for the lack of signage). The dining area inside was definitely more spacious and and more elegant than what we have been used to. And dare I say it, the kitchen was clean! But there were still those same pesky problems that plague so many restaurants: nasty food and awful management.

Dean, the owner of The Olde Stone Mill for six years, was too much of a schmoozer with the customers and enforced absolutely no quality control in the kitchen. His wife, Barbara, would rather not confront the fact that they were $500,000 in debt and preferred having her head in the sand. Mike, the chef, lacked passion in his cooking and taste in his palate. This week's bumbling general manager was dear old Tom and our hostess with the mostest was Jeanie.

Tell me the truth now. Have you ever heard of shrimp cocktail where the shrimp was wrapped in bacon? I've had shrimp wrapped in bacon but never with shrimp cocktail. And would you honestly eat a chopped salad that looked like that? Why hadn't somebody melted Mike's funnel long ago? I like tilapia. I like lobster. Tilapia stuffed with lobster sounds disconcerting.

After having "the talk" with Dean and Barbara about the dire straits their restaurant is in, Gordon observes a full dinner service on a Saturday night. Mike's overwhelmed in the kitchen while Dean is up front schmoozing and drinking. The food finally began arriving after an hour and I felt oddly disturbed for the people who ordered the calamari (one of my favorite appetizers). It was served in a giant martini glass. What the .... When the food began going back to the kitchen, Dean finally decided to step in but not in a good way. He just wanted the food out to the tables and didn't care about the quality in the least.

On Day 2, Gordon told Dean that the food needed some serious attention and that he shouldn't be rushing it so much. And then Dean did a no-no. He accused Gordon of paying his customers to say his food was good. Gordon calls Dean a fake. Dean calls Gordon a fake right back. Dean is quite the arrogant jerk. On Day 3, Gordon toured the town and decided that Tuckahoe needed a steakhouse. He then shows Mike how to cook steak properly and how to serve a simple chopped salad. Gordon then presents the steakhouse idea to Dean who's not very fond of the idea. Too bad though because if Gordon says it's going to be a steakhouse then that's what it shall be.

On Day 4 (wait for it, wait, OK), the design team makes over the dining area. They even put in a weird bench table/sofa thing in the middle of it all. Hmmm. A makeover means they will be relaunching that evening. Two hours before opening, Tom is falling over himself trying to remember the cuts of beef for his table-side presentation (very cool I think). The doors open and I almost passed out.

They showed Gordon Ramsay shirtless again! Are the producers reading my innermost thoughts? Well, maybe they're not so "inner" but it's very nice of them to think of me. Thumbs up! I guess we should get back to the relaunch.

They're fully booked and the mayor and his entourage are even there. Tom's having a hard time handling all that beef and Jeanie's herding the customers around like cattle. Sound the alarm! Printer problems in the kitchen! Dean and Mike started yelling at each other like immature tweens blaming everything and everyone but themselves for the wait the customers are having to endure. But of course, the printer gets fixed and the night manages to finish quasi-successfully.

The next day, Gordon tells Dean that he can't be scared of failure and that he has to break out of his rut. It's his business and in the end, it all depends on him.

In the update since, we found out that Dean has successfully taken charge and Tom's much more confident in his managerial duties. Mike has rekindled his passion for cooking. (Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it?) In honor of the mill's 200th birthday, a celebration party was organized by Gordon for the town and the mayor even gave him a key to the town. It was for the town of Yonkers but whatever. And the biggest thing? Gordon set them up a light sign on the side of the restaurant. It looks fabulous!

Next week, they're going to be in Hollywood. I didn't know there was a Hollywood, New York? Let me look that up. There's not a Hollywood, New York! They're actually leaving the state. Wa-hoo! It's a pizzeria in, I assume, Hollywood, Californ-i-a. Until next week Gordon!

Before I begin, yes. I'm still upset that this is the fourth episode of this season of Kitchen Nightmares and they're still in New York state despite the claims of the opening voice who says they criss-cross the country in search of restaurants for Gordon to assist. I'm beginning to think I should never eat at a restaurant in New York state if I were to visit. Hmm.

This episode, we're watching the drama within the Seascape Inn in Islip, NY. It was opened in 1962 by current owners Irene's late husband and Peter's father. In the last couple of years since he passed away, the restaurant has begun failing miserably and Peter needs to make up between $800,000 and $1,000,000 to keep the restaurant afloat.

It doesn't help that their head chef, Doug, is beyond arrogant and believes his cooking is the be all end all despite the amount of grease sludge in the kitchen. The sous chef, Charles, seems like he could really care less about being there. The two people I liked the most in this episode (besides Gordon - duh) were the two waitresses Marilyn and Diane. Marilyn was an older bird who'd been waitressing for the Seascape Inn since 1967. Diane was a woman who shot from the hip. I liked that.

We all know the routine by now. Gordon shows up and introduces himself. He sits down and orders a meal or meals. Tonight he decided to go with the crabcakes, pesto lobster ravioli, and cajun Atlantic salmon. The crabcakes fell apart (they weren't prepared fresh but were frozen), the raviolis needed more parsley (not), the pesto was a light creamy green (ewww), and the fish was dry. The topper of his meal was the sweet little cookie Irene brought him. Personally, I think Irene was trying to suffocate him with the powdered sugar.

Of course, the dinner service that night was horrendous. Complaints from customers, Peter arguing on the phone in front of customers, and cold plates. I did love what Gordon told Doug about his overuse of parsley on the dishes. I'll tell you what he said for a five dollar Paypal. Just kidding. He told Doug, "Sprinkle it on your wife but not on the effing plates!" You have to love Gordon Ramsay.

While observing dinner service, Gordon noticed the kitchen was uber filthy. How hilarious that at the beginning of the episode Irene had told him that they ran a clean restaurant. It made my skin crawl watching Gordon go through that kitchen. They keep fish in a dog food bag? Doug recooks the chicken? The croutons are moldy?

Gordon decided to shut the place down. No lunch service for the folks of Islip on their day two! Personally, I think they'd be better off at the local Cluck 'n Pluck. The kitchen needs a deep steamcleaning. Finally the restaurant was on the verge of reopening on day four. Was it cleaner? Yes. Were Doug and Charles still acting like asses? Yes. They were being such asses that Gordon told Peter and Irene that they needed to make a choice. Basically it was him or them. Peter timidly walked to the kitchen and fired Doug and Charles. Poor Dougie was humiliated. What a baby. No cooks means no reopening.

On day five, Gordon took Peter boxing to relieve his frustrations. Come to find out, Peter had been put down by his father growing up and and said he had been keeping himself down in the business due to that. He's now found the cajones to prove his father wrong and has decided that he can't blame his father for keeping him down anymore.

While they were boxing, the amazing remodeling took place. I must say the place looked better. At least it didn't look like the walls were about to crumble apart at any moment and come crashing down on a diner's head. They also hired a new chef, Scott, who was local to the community. I hope he takes charge. They certainly need some direction in the kitchen. Oh my gosh! Jean-Baptiste is there!!! He'll be helping Peter take charge in the front.

The restaurant is getting ready to reopen for dinner service finally that evening and Peter's even wearing a jacket (Jean-Baptiste suggested it). Woohoo! A shirtless Gordon Ramsay sighting. Yum.

Of course, things were crazy at first because they hadn't been used to this amount of business in about forever. Eventually though they all settled into a rhythm and began working as a team getting the orders out. Overall, Gordon thought it was a successful night.

Interesting enough, we found out that Gordon stuck around for another week after that night and helped the new chef Scott out for the restaurant. Gordon even helped the restaurant with an annual chowder cookoff. And Marilyn, who'd been there since 1967, brought back the table-side flambee.

Whoa! We're being treated to an update again. This one is five months after the filming was completed. The restaurant looked deserted. Come to find out, Peter sold the restaurant. He got an offer he just couldn't refuse. I feel bad for Marilyn the most.

Next week, Kitchen Nightmares will be at the Old Stone Mill in Tuckahoe, NY. What? Did I really hear that right? A fifth New York state restaurant in a row? Forget about in a row. Only New York state restaurants since this series started? I've had it! I'm done with this show!!!

I could be talked into watching next week's episode if I'm promised another shirtless Gordon scene though.

I would like to begin this recap by telling the Fox execs overseeing Kitchen Nightmares,

Enough with New York already!

This is now the third episode of Kitchen Nightmares in its first season where they have attended to a restaurant in New York state. At the beginning of each show, the voiceover guy says they're criss-crossing the country to blah blah blah. There are 50 states in the U.S. right? Or have all of the states been blended to become one big state called New York? No disrespect to any New York residents out there but come on already. Could we see a restaurant in another state? And I don't mean New Jersey either. LOL

I feel better now after my mini rant. Let's get on with it.

The name of the restaurant Gordon Ramsay will be helping changing tonight is 'The Mixing Bowl Eatery' in Bellmore, NY which is a mere thirty minutes from New York City. Billy is the owner and the chef of this fine establishment. His wife Lisa is an owner as well and really pushing her husband to just sell the place and get it over with. The manager, Mike, is a big time schmoozer who's only looking out for himself. Mike's sister, Lynn, works as a waitress there along with a young lady named Kim.

We know how it goes. Gordon shows up and wants to taste some of the fine fare that's being presented on the menu. When he asks Mike what kind of restaurant this is he says it's about 'new American food'. You know, things like salads and wraps. Huh? Gordon couldn't resist getting some digs in early and asked Mike when the last time he had a salad was and the last time he'd been in a gym. Both times Mike replied it had been a long time. hehe

Gordon orders some of their award-winning crabcakes (Mike doesn't know what awards they had won), zucchini pancakes, and green beans with shallots. The crabcakes were good and fresh (+), the pancakes were bland (-) and the green beans had no shallots (-) and too much garlic (-). Not the greatest meal it sounds like but definitely not the worst of the season. Later on, Gordon observes dinner service for the evening. That consisted of Mike schmoozing his friends who seemed to be the only customers for the night. Oh, and he gave them 50% off their meal. What a generous guy!

Later on, Gordon has Mike show him his signs. They were gimmicky and cheesy. And there were plenty of them. Gordon then has a sit down with Billy and Lisa. He tells Billy that he has to start thinking as a businessman and stop leaving everything up to Mike. He tells Lisa that she may be indeed be right about shutting down the Mixing Bowl but that if she decides to stick it out with Billy she has to do so wholeheartedly. Lisa wants to live a normal life though and Billy feels that if their restaurant closes it would be like a death in the family. BTW, what's a normal life? Any of you have that out there?

On day two Gordon is going to teach Mike a lesson so they're putting them signs in the wood chipper that was conveniently rented and placed right outside. Gordon, Billy, Lisa, and Mike then go over maps of the their neighborhood. One from 1997 and one from present-day. In 1997, there were only ten other restaurants around them and now there are forty-seven and they're all full of junk. They need to take the healthy route and server leaner dishes absent of heavy sauces. Gordon and Billy whip up a couple of healthy salmon dishes that could be put on the menu for the evening's services. Oh my. The restaurant's filling up. It's just because Gordon's there though. And don't you love how Mike takes half of everybody's tips? And didn't you really love how Billy found the bollocks to confront Mike? It was about time.

Day three presents us (and them) with the glorious restaurant transformation that seems to be awarded to every restaurant in this bastardized version of its older 'across the pond' sibling. Of course, they love the way it looks now. Mike's actually crying about it. Pssst Mike! It's not yours. Along with the new decor, there is a new menu and a hopefully a newer attitude among them all. They're handing out flyers in the neighborhood to drum up some business for the next evening and they even visit the New York Dragons to get them to come over and enjoy some dinner.

It's day four and it's fifteen minutes before dinner service begins. Mike's in a bad mood. The restaurant's booked. They're double-booked! Oh no. It's madness!!! Mike blames it on Kim who tells Mike it's his own fault. Mike's paying attention to his friends more than the new customers. Oh wait. Some of the New York Dragons have arrived! Good news! But there's a problem. Their reservations were never booked. They have nowhere to sit! Mike explodes! He's yelling and screaming and carrying on like a big titty baby who can't find his nipple. If I'd been the owner of the restaurant, I would have fired him on the spot. For behaving the way he did and for talking to my spouse like that.

Gordon talks to Billy and Lisa about Mike's attitude and tells them that Mike is their problem with the restaurant. They need a new manager. I guess Mike knows they're talking about him because he's crying again about how he doesn't want to go home. Ultimately, Billy and Lisa decide to keep Mike on as the manager. Mike then finds room for the Dragons and all is right with the world. At least it is on that plot of land in Bellmore.

That was basically the entire show. The little snip at the end said that as the week progressed, Mike's management skills improved and the restaurant was getting good reviews and making some moolah. Gordon sponsored a one-mile run on behalf of the healthier Mixing Bowl. On the last day, Billy finally comes out of the kitchen and tells his customers 'what up'. No, he really just said 'hello' to them all. Gordon tells the staff that they've done good and that he'd definitely eat there if he was ever in their neck o' the woods again. On the tiny update, the restaurant is still prospering two months later and Billy and Lisa's marriage is stronger than it was before Gordon's arrival. How cute.

Next week, Kitchen Nightmares will be at the Seascape Inn in Long Island, NY. What? Did I just hear that right? New York again? Grrrrrr. Why I'm gonna....