HamsterDame Is Thankful

Writing a post filled with heart-wrenching emotion about what I'm thankful for could be compared to Rosie O'Donnell trying to wear one of Paris Hilton's little sparkly dresses -- it just wouldn't fit. So pouring the few sappy feelings I have left in me (no doubt due to almost decades of reality television viewing) onto this website would be a waste. I might need those feelings in the future and you don't want me to blame you for me using them up now do you? I didn't think so. While I'm most definitely thankful for the health of my family and friends and for being blessed with another year absent of personal catastrophes, I'd rather go over four things in particular I'm thankful for in this grand year of 2007.

The new teenaged girl working the express lane at my local grocery store. There used to be this one lady that always seemed to be manning the register for that lane. I didn't like her very much. She would always let the people that had more than 15 items go through. I'm not talking 16, 17, or even 20 items (yes I do count and you know you count too). I'm talking about people with full shopping carts. She would look at their cart and invite them to place their groceries on the magical moving belt. That would be fine and everything if I wasn't standing behind that person with my measly 7 items. The new girl? She'll tell people to go to another checkout lane. So new girl (sorry I can't remember your name), I'm thankful for you.

The new cell phone tower in my neighborhood. You must be thinking I'm out of my mind but really, I'm not. Most people think a huge honker of a cell phone tower is an eyesore, especially if it's in their neighborhood. Not me. I heart my greatly improved cell phone reception so much. No longer do I have to find that "special spot" in my bedroom just so that I can hold a conversation for longer than three seconds. I welcomed my radiation-emitting overlord into the neighborhood and I wave at him every single day. You rock my world cell phone tower and for that, I'm thankful for you.

Podcasts. I know that podcasts are nothing new but they were new to me in January. After buying my Zune (I love my Zune so back off maniacal iPod fanboys), a friend recommended a couple of podcasts for me and I fell in love. I honestly don't know how I would make it through work every day if I didn't have them. Who needs mindless mainstream radio full of commercials? Not me. I prefer being entertained in my head. It's wonderful to sit at work and learn new things about subjects that interest me from people who actually know what they're talking about. They also distract me from the fellow in the corner cubicle who is constantly sniffling his nose and making water sounds (please don't ask). So to the podcasters across the internet, I'm thankful for you.

Sharp knives. After living with a set of old hand-me-down knives for more than a decade, I finally bit the bullet and bought a grown-up and modern set of knives. Don't ask what took me so long to do this because I have no clue. I remember the first time I used the big chef's knife in the set as if it were yesterday. I was slicing some red onion for the chicken pesto pizza I was making when all of a sudden it slipped out of my hand. I tried to grab it before it hit the floor. Bad idea. Seven stitches and three hours later, I was back at home trying to make a sandwich with one hand. But the knives are really sharp and there hasn't been an incident since that April evening. Shorter prep times and clean cuts (even including my right thumb) are wonderful so to my sharp knives, I'm thankful for you.

May each and every one of you out there have a fantastic and safe Thanksgiving holiday. Try not to eat too much. I also recommend letting the knife hit the floor instead of grabbing it in midair.