The Mixing Bowl in Bellmore, NY

I would like to begin this recap by telling the Fox execs overseeing Kitchen Nightmares,

Enough with New York already!

This is now the third episode of Kitchen Nightmares in its first season where they have attended to a restaurant in New York state. At the beginning of each show, the voiceover guy says they're criss-crossing the country to blah blah blah. There are 50 states in the U.S. right? Or have all of the states been blended to become one big state called New York? No disrespect to any New York residents out there but come on already. Could we see a restaurant in another state? And I don't mean New Jersey either. LOL

I feel better now after my mini rant. Let's get on with it.

The name of the restaurant Gordon Ramsay will be helping changing tonight is 'The Mixing Bowl Eatery' in Bellmore, NY which is a mere thirty minutes from New York City. Billy is the owner and the chef of this fine establishment. His wife Lisa is an owner as well and really pushing her husband to just sell the place and get it over with. The manager, Mike, is a big time schmoozer who's only looking out for himself. Mike's sister, Lynn, works as a waitress there along with a young lady named Kim.

We know how it goes. Gordon shows up and wants to taste some of the fine fare that's being presented on the menu. When he asks Mike what kind of restaurant this is he says it's about 'new American food'. You know, things like salads and wraps. Huh? Gordon couldn't resist getting some digs in early and asked Mike when the last time he had a salad was and the last time he'd been in a gym. Both times Mike replied it had been a long time. hehe

Gordon orders some of their award-winning crabcakes (Mike doesn't know what awards they had won), zucchini pancakes, and green beans with shallots. The crabcakes were good and fresh (+), the pancakes were bland (-) and the green beans had no shallots (-) and too much garlic (-). Not the greatest meal it sounds like but definitely not the worst of the season. Later on, Gordon observes dinner service for the evening. That consisted of Mike schmoozing his friends who seemed to be the only customers for the night. Oh, and he gave them 50% off their meal. What a generous guy!

Later on, Gordon has Mike show him his signs. They were gimmicky and cheesy. And there were plenty of them. Gordon then has a sit down with Billy and Lisa. He tells Billy that he has to start thinking as a businessman and stop leaving everything up to Mike. He tells Lisa that she may be indeed be right about shutting down the Mixing Bowl but that if she decides to stick it out with Billy she has to do so wholeheartedly. Lisa wants to live a normal life though and Billy feels that if their restaurant closes it would be like a death in the family. BTW, what's a normal life? Any of you have that out there?

On day two Gordon is going to teach Mike a lesson so they're putting them signs in the wood chipper that was conveniently rented and placed right outside. Gordon, Billy, Lisa, and Mike then go over maps of the their neighborhood. One from 1997 and one from present-day. In 1997, there were only ten other restaurants around them and now there are forty-seven and they're all full of junk. They need to take the healthy route and server leaner dishes absent of heavy sauces. Gordon and Billy whip up a couple of healthy salmon dishes that could be put on the menu for the evening's services. Oh my. The restaurant's filling up. It's just because Gordon's there though. And don't you love how Mike takes half of everybody's tips? And didn't you really love how Billy found the bollocks to confront Mike? It was about time.

Day three presents us (and them) with the glorious restaurant transformation that seems to be awarded to every restaurant in this bastardized version of its older 'across the pond' sibling. Of course, they love the way it looks now. Mike's actually crying about it. Pssst Mike! It's not yours. Along with the new decor, there is a new menu and a hopefully a newer attitude among them all. They're handing out flyers in the neighborhood to drum up some business for the next evening and they even visit the New York Dragons to get them to come over and enjoy some dinner.

It's day four and it's fifteen minutes before dinner service begins. Mike's in a bad mood. The restaurant's booked. They're double-booked! Oh no. It's madness!!! Mike blames it on Kim who tells Mike it's his own fault. Mike's paying attention to his friends more than the new customers. Oh wait. Some of the New York Dragons have arrived! Good news! But there's a problem. Their reservations were never booked. They have nowhere to sit! Mike explodes! He's yelling and screaming and carrying on like a big titty baby who can't find his nipple. If I'd been the owner of the restaurant, I would have fired him on the spot. For behaving the way he did and for talking to my spouse like that.

Gordon talks to Billy and Lisa about Mike's attitude and tells them that Mike is their problem with the restaurant. They need a new manager. I guess Mike knows they're talking about him because he's crying again about how he doesn't want to go home. Ultimately, Billy and Lisa decide to keep Mike on as the manager. Mike then finds room for the Dragons and all is right with the world. At least it is on that plot of land in Bellmore.

That was basically the entire show. The little snip at the end said that as the week progressed, Mike's management skills improved and the restaurant was getting good reviews and making some moolah. Gordon sponsored a one-mile run on behalf of the healthier Mixing Bowl. On the last day, Billy finally comes out of the kitchen and tells his customers 'what up'. No, he really just said 'hello' to them all. Gordon tells the staff that they've done good and that he'd definitely eat there if he was ever in their neck o' the woods again. On the tiny update, the restaurant is still prospering two months later and Billy and Lisa's marriage is stronger than it was before Gordon's arrival. How cute.

Next week, Kitchen Nightmares will be at the Seascape Inn in Long Island, NY. What? Did I just hear that right? New York again? Grrrrrr. Why I'm gonna....